How Solitude can be Bliss
This is a contribution post by Jaishree Laxmikant.
Being alone is not being lonely. Solitude can mean something else entirely. I have understood this after years of contemplation. Let me explain what I mean.
Like all mothers & housewives, my hands would be perpetually full with a to-do list. At odd times, over the weekend or on a holiday, when the kids would be engrossed in their mobile games and the husband would be enjoying a movie on TV, I would mutter that they didn’t have time to spare for me, though I was so busy doing things for them (sounds very familiar, I know).
This would lead me to moments of feeling lonely. So, what if the house is full of people and there is so much activity around? Isn’t it true that despite all the chatter around, there could be so much more one could be yearning for?
The need to be heard
A human mind is always full of thoughts & emotions. These thoughts often look for an outlet, making us feel the need of an audience; to hear us out, and give us attention. However, the one thing that we supposedly are constantly short of, is time. Time for ourselves, for our loved ones, for our dreams but somehow, we always have time for social media, for unhealthy discussions and unproductive stuff. Giving time to those we love still remains an ardent task.
So, it is not strange for people to feel lonely. The remedies to loneliness for many are modes of entertainment, social media, befriending strangers in the hope of some time and attention and so on.
Enjoy your own company
In due course of time, there was finally the realization that no one will come to lift my spirits up or be a constant companion. Actually, one is the only constant companion for oneself. There was an acceptance that one has to keep doing things for oneself. Hence, there was no expectation left from anyone. You write to someone, they may or may not write; you have a lot of free time, but everyone else is busy; there is so much you want to talk about, but there is no one to listen to, doesn’t matter at all. So now what?
Now, self is the best company. Yes, I could spend an entire day by myself and not feel lonely. Life is not just about having people around you but about you finding out the things that make you feel happy & enthusiastic about life.
Only you will be there, for you.
For this, one needs to learn to love oneself. If we have spent a lot of our time, tending to others’ needs, we are suddenly jobless when those people move away. Then loneliness? Or solitude?
Depends on what we choose for ourselves. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Indulging in our favourite activities, looking after ourselves, choosing some mode of entertainment and source of physical fitness helps us keep ourselves occupied. Loneliness or solitude! It is in our hands to make it what we want it to be.
Jaishree Laxmikant is a freelance writer who writes on topics of social relevance, mental health, travel and also about our Armed Forces. She believes that we all are a means to a purpose & we should do our best to uplift others without belittling ourselves. You can connect with her here.
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